Lakeland Table Tennis: Cookie:The Rookie

Cookie:The Rookie

ADVENTURE # 1
Cookies First Tournament

By Cookie (The Table Tennis Rookie)

"Wake up Cookie! You're going to be late to the ping pong tournament!" Half awake, I jumped up and quickly realized that this was the big day I had been waiting for. My Mom stood there with a funny look on her face.

"Why on Earth you slept on the ping pong table last night I will never know. I hope no one ever finds out." Mom wouldn't understand if I tried to explain to her that I was just trying to get a real feel for the table, to sort of commune with the table, to get my vibes all in alignment. After all, this was my first real ping pong tournament and I knew I had to be ready. I will have to admit, however, the table was sort of hard to sleep on and then I did get my toe caught in the net during the night, but it was all worth it. I felt in tune with what I had to do, with no random thoughts at all.

When I arrived at the famous Long Center, I was instantly in awe! I peeked into the giant gymnasium and all I saw was ping pong tables, wall to wall! The lady at the check-in desk was really nice and she told me to report to table number 13. She asked me if Cookie was my real name and I had to tell her that it wasn't, but when she heard my real name, she understood.

At table 13, I met some really nice players. I told them I was a rookie and that this was my first tournament. One guy asked me what kind of rubber I had and when I told him that I had red rubber on one side and black rubber on the other side, he laughed out loud. Then he asked me what brand it was, I told him that it was K-Mart. I was lucky to catch a Blue-Light Special at K-Mart and got the ping pong paddle for $2.00. But when I got home and opened the package and saw that the paddle had red rubber on one side and black rubber on the other side, I thought maybe the reason it was so cheap was because they had gotten the rubber colors mixed up at the factory. I soon found out at the tournament that the paddle was suppose to have those two colors. I also learned about all the different kinds of really good rubber and paddles and how much better they are and also more expensive.

"LET ON ALL TABLES! LET ON ALL TABLES!" A very official looking man at the microphone filled the gym with his powerful voice. Everyone stopped playing and listened to the man, who I later found out was the Tournament Director, Raymond Look. He told everyone to play 11 point games, the best 3 out of 5 games. This was new to me because I had always played to 21. I learned that with the 11 point game you really had to get off to a quick start because if you got behind by a few points, it was really hard to win.

We started our Round Robin, which I had never heard of, but really liked because you got to play everyone in the group. I lost my first match 3-0. The guy I played put some really tricky spin on his serves and I hit most of them into the net or way off the table, depending on what kind of spin he put on the ball. I lost my second match also, but I did win one game. In the third match I actually won two games, so I felt pretty good after all.

You know, this was a good thing today. All these people coming together like they did--People of all ages, different cultures, different life-styles, different vocations, all enjoying life and having fun, making friends, learning, growing, living. Does it get any better than this? Maybe it does, but for me, it was super. I can't wait for the next tournament and who knows, I may have a real paddle from The Paddle Palace next time, so you guys and gals better watch out!

"Well Cookie, did you win?." Mom waited for an answer as I walked in the door with my Blue-Light Special paddle in my hand and a smile on my face.

"Mom, everyone that played today was a winner. I might not have a trophy to put on the mantle, but I won today by meeting some really nice people and making some new friends. It was a special day, one that I will be glad to remember for a long, long time."

ADVENTURE # 2
A Table Tennis Dream
By Cookie (The Table Tennis Rookie)

Ray Look looked at me strangely and so did most of the other players at the tournament. So what if I dyed my hair orange. There is no regulation that said I couldn't and it doesn't say anything about not wearing an orange watchband and orange face on my watch. After all, Brian Pace wears one. And the tattoo on my arms and neck, nothing in the USATT regulations about orange tattoos, even if they are temporary tattoos.

You see, it's all about thinking outside of the box, pushing the envelope, going to places where no one has been, pursuing the unknown realms of table tennis and taking that leap that will allow you to reach the other side (of the table), without even knowing why. I am going to reside on the fringes of ping-pongdom for a while and maybe send a postcard or two back to everyone stuck in the slow lane. No more Cookie, the Rookie, nice person stuff, I am ready to rock the ping-pong world, draw some lines on the table tennis court and dare the officials to come after me. After each shot, after each point I win, I am going to give out a blood curdling scream of a banshee and jump up and down like a crazed wild animal and then yell out BOO-YAH as loud as I can. I am going to wet my shoe soles on a wet towel after each point I win and raise my closed fist to the stars. I am going to high toss the ball up to the rafters of the gym and then make wild arm movements and body movements while the ball is coming down. And after six points, I am going to towel off and blow my nose with a loud honking sound that will startle my opponent. I am also going to ask the umpire to check my opponent's USATT credentials for validity and insist that a picture ID be presented for verification purposes.

You may ask, why am I doing all this? Well, it's all about the strategy. It's all about using psychology and getting under your opponent's skin and taking away his normal flow of the game. I'm going to stare at my opponent with the crazed look of an ax-murderer and sharpen the end of my racket handle to resemble a warrior's spear. And then, there is this voodoo doll thing that I saw on TV last week.

But wait, what's that loud yelling ?

"Cookie, it's time to get up. You've overslept again. Didn't you hear me yelling for you to get up. I have to scream like a banshee anymore to wake you up. Now get up and brush your teeth and come down for breakfast."

Whew, it was all only a dream and you know I am glad that it was. I couldn't be a screaming banshee or an ax-murderer even if I tried. I have to be the same old Cookie, The Rookie and smile at people and shake their hand after they beat me and I could never dye my hair orange or wear orange tattoos. I really wouldn't want it any other way. Table tennis is just too much fun to be mean and disrespectful. Life is too short to be yelling BOO-YAH all the time and stomping your feet and blowing your nose. And as for an orange watch, I lost my watch last year and found out that I do just fine without one, even if it was a fake silver color instead of orange.

But somewhere, back in the dark crevices of my mind, I do think about that voodoo doll. Ted, beware!

ADVENTURE # 3

COOKIE LEARNS TO SAY TABLE TENNIS
By Cookie (The Table Tennis Rookie)

As a real tenderfoot, I have a lot to learn about this game. Even though I have been playing for a couple of years, you see I have really just been playing ping-pong, instead of table tennis. I didn't really know all this until the FUN AND SUN TABLE TENNIS TOURNAMENT. I was all ready for my first ping-pong tournament. I had my new ping-pong paddle, my new gym shoes and a fresh pack of double-bubble bubblegum in my pocket. But I soon discovered that real table tennis is different from the ping-pong that I had been playing.

My first indication that something was wrong was when this guy starts serving the ball to me and all I could do was hit it into the net, over and over. Then the next guy serves and I hit the ball about a mile over his head. I kept looking at my paddle, but it looked just like it always did. What was wrong with this picture?

Well, I learned that all that really funny spin on the ball was from the special kind of rubber on my opponent's paddle and the way they move their paddles when they strike the ball. Gosh, it was hard to figure it out, with me being a rookie and all.

So I lost my first match 3-0. I really felt sort of low, like maybe I shouldn't have come. But then in the second match, I actually won a game and in the third match I won two games. I was feeling a little better and then this guy comes up to me and he says, "Hey, you know you got a pretty good stroke." That made me feel much better because I had watched this guy play a match and he was really good. His name was Bob and as he adjusted his head band on his head, he showed me some real good tips about striking the table tennis ball with my paddle. He was really nice! He really wanted to help me. And then this other guy comes over and he tells me that I have real potential as a table tennis player. He tells me that I might want to get a better paddle than the K-Mart Blue-Light Special that I had in my hand.
This was quite a tournament. I stayed and watched the finals of the big match between Phuong Tron and Pablo Quiles. I was amazed at how hard they both hit the ball and how much spin they put on it. I never knew I could be so excited watching a ping-pong game!

Well, this WAS a learning experience for me. I met some really nice people and I made some new friends. They invited me back to the Long Center to join the Sunrise Table Tennis Club. Bob said he would help me improve on my footwork and on my backhand. This was a fun day and I am excited about the future.

When I got home from the tournament, Mom heard me come in and she saw the smile on my face.

"Well Cookie, how did you do in the ping-pong tournament?" I told Mom all about it, how much fun it was, how much I learned, how I want to join the club and work hard to get better.

"Oh, Mom, one other thing. It's TABLE TENNIS instead of ping-pong." Mom smiled that all too familiar smile like she always did when she was proud of her son.

ADVENTURE # 4
Cookie's Attempt To Move Up To The Next Level
By Cookie (The Table Tennis Rookie

"Cookie, What was in the package you got yesterday in the mail? It looked sort of suspicious."

"Mom, you sure are snoopy! It was a new secret weapon from AMAM."

"What the heck is AMAM and what are you doing ordering secret weapons?"

"AMAM is Applied Mind Altering Music. It's really cool Mom. I special ordered a CD that was specially customized with embedded sub-conscious enhancers for table tennis. All you have to do and turn on the CD loop when you go to bed and your brain is bathed with performance enhancers designed to help you improve in whatever you select. I special ordered one to help me with looping and counter-driving and power-serves."

"I wondered what all that noise from your bedroom was last night. It sounded like some kind of violent thunderstorm going off in your room. Cookie, the cat even got scared and hid behind the washing machine. I wish you would give up on all that special order stuff. You are just wasting all your money on special paddles and rubber sheets and spray-on stuff and stupid glue."

Mom means well, but she just doesn't understand that you have to stay on the cutting edge of high-tech these days in just about everything you do, including table tennis. But she is right about spending money. I have spent a bundle on all these fantastic table tennis high-tech items. This customized CD from AMAM was only $49.95 and they sent me a special table tennis ball Ionic cleaner for free. The Ionic Table Tennis Ball Cleaner not only cleans the surface of the ball, but it aligns the electrons within the inside of the ball so they all point in the right direction. This is supposed to give you at least .000025 % improvement in the accuracy of flight of any moving table tennis ball.

"Mom, I'm sorry about the cat. But the CD is supposed to sound like a thunderstorm and all the hidden embedded messages cannot be heard by the conscious mind. Only the sub-conscious mind can hear them."

"Well, I think the cat hears them and he runs when he has to go past your door anymore. Even the goldfish is hiding behind the treasure chest at the bottom of the bowl. Are you sure this special CD is not altering your brain in some sort of weird, strange way?"

You know, Mom is always looking out for me and that is a good thing. She keeps me on my toes and makes me think twice about things. She was right about that special Table Tennis Headband with magnets attached above the temporal lobe. All that did was give me a headache. She was right about the Aroma Therapy Table Tennis Spray. All that did was make me sneeze. She was even right about the special Table Tennis Champion Cereal. It was just not as good as Fruit Loops and it didn't help my game at all and it tasted awful. But the pictures of table tennis players on the boxes were nice, except for the box with Ted's picture on it.

Oh well, I do feel much better now after listening to the subliminal Table Tennis CD from AMAM. Those thunderstorm sounds with rain falling on a tin roof really put me to sleep and I know it has helped my loop, counter-drives and power-serves. I can't wait to get to the club to try out my enhanced skills.

"Mom, where is my raincoat?"

"Cookie, why in the world do you need a raincoat? It's not supposed to rain all week? And one more thing before you leave, see if you can get the cat to come out from behind the washing machine."

Life can get confusing when you try to move up to the next level !

ADVENTURE # 5
Cookie: Strategies To Win
By Cookie (The Table Tennis Rookie)

"Mom, where did you put my table tennis socks? I know I put them here on the floor by the bed!"

"Cookie, I have told you a thousand times to put up your clothes. They probably got put in the laundry basket with all the rest of your clothes that you left on the floor."

"But Mom, I have just got to have those socks today. Where is the laundry basket?"

"Oh no you don't. You are not going to wear those socks again until they are clean!"

"But Mom, those are my lucky socks. I got a chance to play a 1500 player last night and today I might get a chance to play someone who is even higher rated. I've just got to have those socks!"

"Cookie, there's nothing special about those socks except for the little butterfly on them and you know it. Just put on another pair of regular white socks and pretend they have a butterfly on them."

"Mom, you just don't understand. It's the little things that make such a difference. It's part of my strategy to win."

I knew Mom wouldn't understand. You see, I have discovered that you have to go out there and play with every little advantage that you can find. When my opponent sees that I have on official Butterfly Table Tennis Socks, it makes them think twice. I always bend over and pull my socks up so they can get a good luck at the Butterfly, just in case they haven't noticed. I also adjust my Stiga wrist bands so the word Stiga is clearly visible to my opponent. I then open my official Tibhar Table Tennis Bag and remove my Joola Table Tennis Racquet Case. I first remove a Nittaku Premium 40 mm orange ball, and then my LASER ROCKET XKE427 Table Tennis Racquet, with the brand new Ultimate Cosmic Photon Reactor Rubber on one side and the new Venus Fly Trap Mystique Radical Rubber on the other side. I then apply a coating of Magna Spin Whirlpool Death Grip Foam to my rubber and wipe it off with my world class Ultimate Authentic Bermuda Triangle Maxi-Clean Sponge. I then place my Yasaka Sports Drink Bottle under the table and re-tie my Solar Flare Astro Jet Moon-Walk Table Tennis Shoes. I make sure my premium Donic Table Tennis Outfit is adjusted so that all the brand name is visible. And finally, I take out my Maximum Laser Net Height Gauge and quickly complete a laser measurement scan to be sure the net is within 2 microns of the official USATT height requirements. It is only then, that I look up to greet my opponent. Hopefully by then, his knees are knocking and he is so nervous that he will lose the first four or five points, or just give up and default the match.

"Cookie, I found your socks. Here they are!"

"Mom! What in the world happened to them? They are torn to bits!"

"It must have been your brother's puppy. I warned you to pick your clothes up off the floor, but do you listen?"

"But Mom, what am I going to do! I am supposed to play Sonrensky Vladimar from Europe today and I might even get a chance to play the famous Ted, The Dread today. I am doomed without my Butterfly Socks!"

I really can't blame Mom. She did tell me to pick up my socks. Maybe I can find those other socks that I put a Magic Z on with the red permanent marker!